Step Into The Light
Then he breaks away from my lips. I groan a little in protest. He tells me to stay there, to close my eyes. So I do. I feel him looking at me, circling around me. I want to know what he's doing, but I can't look because I know I shouldn't. Because I can never bring myself to disobey. He knows that. My mind is noisy with thoughts. That's how I always begin.
I feel him coming closer. Less thinking, more feeling now. He presses up against my back and I can feel how hard he is through his jeans. See. It's so easy. Just let him be himself.
He says to ask him to blindfold me. I don't really want to ask. It feels uncomfortable and I'm struggling in this moment. He knows that. He's enjoying my struggle. Maybe it's not always so easy. But I find my voice and ask him, very politely, please. I stay perfectly still while he tightens the knot at the back of my head. I try to open my eyes but the blindfold is tight enough to keep them closed. Now what?
So he messes with my head for a while, leaving me standing there, thinking, feeling, in the dark, vulnerable, wanting. He takes off my clothes. His shirt is off and my fingers trace his chest. My tongue finds his shoulder, his neck. Really, my mouth wants to be further south, but that's no longer my choice to make. His lips on my lips, my neck, moving slowly and then jumping from place to place. Teeth graze me. Then a little harder. Fingers lightly brush over my skin. Then he grabs at me.
I'm suddenly lying face down on the lounge. He's warming my skin with his flogger. I gave it to him. It's heavy. And he is strong. He takes his time. I'm staying as still as I can but my skin is tingling. I feel every thud in what must be my soul. It's glorious.
He lays the flogger across the back of my neck. I take in the weight, the smell. I hear him undoing his belt. He wants to hurt me. I'm feeling different now. This actually hurts. It hurts. It hurts. And then comes the euphoria, when I'm pushed just beyond what I can endure. That's when he stops.
I'm dizzy. His hands are feeling the heat from my skin. It hurts so beautifully. I like the pain, but that's no secret. This is my drug. I feel high. It's joyous. Then his tongue is visiting all those places he likes. Waves rolls over me, through me.
He helps me to stand and I'm feeling like I have no control over my body and my mind is off, flying somewhere. Somewhere. Of course, that's what he was aiming for. Tugging on my hair. Kissing me deeply. He's biting, sinking his teeth into my flesh. I let out a groan of pain, but it feels so good. He likes that. Because he's controlling what I feel. What I feel, when I feel, where I move, what I see. And my reactions.
I'm no longer the me that I was when we began. I'm no longer thinking. But I am the real me now.
He ties my hands behind my back. And I'm there, again. Waiting again. Exposed, needy, his.
He leads me to the bed. That's new. I'm on my knees, riding him but it's he who is controlling my movements. I can't keep my balance by myself with no hands or eyes. I'm lost. Somewhere. But he holds onto me so that he can move and thrust and do. I don't know it, but I've soaked his chest.
Then I'm face down, arse in the air, and he is playing around, putting himself inside me, moving out, touching, grabbing. Edging me closer, then pulling back again.
All he wants is complete domination of me. And he's never intimidated by my needs. So i give myself to him. All of me, my everything. Whatever he wants. Because I'm his. My total surrender. My passion. My submission. Is his.
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